Thomas's Passion

Courage...

Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes, courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says,
"I'll try again tomorrow."

Life & Times...

Often times my blog is about our journey to our daughter Mia & eventually it will be only focused on primarily that as we get closer, however, in the meantime it will continue to at times be about many things including just the general life & times of the Pearse household as to keep in touch with all of you & to help keep you up to date on all of the happenings in our lives including ofcourse our adoption, but many other things & happenings as well.

Anyway...Thomas & I are doing well. (pic of hubby below; haven't added one in a while.)

Really, right now as of recently I think that I have posted about most of what has been going on...my Granny's passing, our six month LID anniversary, the year anniversary of our failed domestic placement, planning a vacation (just starting our research on that), my "getting healthy" journey & so on. So, right now I probably don't have too much more to add.

Thomas & I have three days off week after this together in a row & today I am putting some thought into what we might do. We are thinking of going somewhere or doing something special, but haven't come up with anything as of yet. Being in the middle of one of the coldest winter season's in a long time our options are limited. I will let you know what we come up with.

Jen

My Granny's Service...

Yesterday was my Granny's service & it was absolutely perfect. I took TONS of photos, I will send just a few to share with you. I have to tell you that the pastor that did her service was absolutely the best that any of us had ever heard!! It really was a beautiful service & was such in honor of Granny's life. The pastor who did an excellent sermon spoke of her "home going" & "her rewards"; not once did he mention death or dying. It was a wonderful message. We had a slide show of her life, thee hymns, a poem my Mom wrote that when I get the copy I will share with you-it was AMAZING & a letter that my Aunt wrote to Granny that was read as well. The day could not have been any more of a tribute to her life; we were all SO pleased & most important we know Granny loved it too! The Pastor told us afterwards that he has done hundreds of services & ours today wasn't the biggest & or the fanciest, but that he wanted us to know that he is not sure out of all of the services that he has ever done that he had ever been to one where he felt the amount of love that was there in that room today. That meant a lot. Also, he said he has never conducted a service where there were that many grandkids & great grandkids & that every single one of us was in attendance.....it was nice. After the service, my Grandma ("MeMa") had reserved a private room at a local restaraunt in J.C., so we all went & ate together, watched a video & fellowshipped. Around 4PM we left there, Thomas & I found a great coffee shop across from the courthouse so that he & I could have a few minutes alone & then we went on to Fulton to my aunt's where we met some of our family.

"We love you & miss you already Granny!"

Jen

Six Months Down...

Now, only if we knew how many more to go?!?!? The only thing that I can say is that we are six months closer than we were, right? UGH! "Happy Six Months LID to us!" (For some reason for me that is so not a happy statement!)

Jen

Thanks Keri!

We got a nice package in the mail from our "Secret Buddy". (We know who our buddy is, so it is not really a secret...) Anyhow, we just wanted to again say THANK YOU Keri for all of the great Lady Bug goodies! They are perfect. We love them & know our Mia will too! Thomas was even saying, "it's adorable" when he was checking out the items! You should have a package arriving soon too. Hope you like your goodies! There will soon be a few more on the way too! :)

Jen

Gift...

Thomas's Mom gave us this beautiful gift yesterday. Isn't she just perfect? We love her! We looked up information on her red koi fish on her bib & her toy & found some interesting information. We will share it below. Anyhow, she is a porcelain, handcrafted numbered heirloom edition doll. She is part of a limited edition & production on her closed after 5,000 pieces were issued.

In general Koi Fish are associated with Good Luck. It is said that a Koi Fish in the Buddhist Religion represents courage. Because of its strength and determination to overcome obstacles, it stands for courage and the ability to attain high goals.

We think she is beautiful & we will treasure her always as we know Mia will too!

Thank you SO much Pauline for such a thoughtful & beautiful gift!

Thomas & Jen

Article to share.......

http://www.nationalpost.com/story.html?id=193141&p=1

Here is an article that you might want to read. Very insightful & well written, I thought. It was written by a father of a family that previously adopted; twice I beleive, from China. He discusses the changes, the wait & the possible end of the IA program with China.

Jen P.

Sad News...

Just wanted to thank you all for your thoughts & prayers in regards to my Granny's recent illness. However, for her the cure was not to be. Granny passed away night before last. My Mom was with her holding her hand. She was sleeping & seemed to be peaceful. A few hours prior to her passing, she woke up & looked at my Mom & told her, "I am very sick.". My Mom said that she knew & asked her if there was anything she needed or anything that we could do for her. She put her weak arms up, hugged my Mom's neck & said, "I love you." Those were the last words that she spoke & then she went to sleep. My Mom was resting in the chair next to her bed shortly there after when the lullaby was played overhead letting all in the hospital know that a sweet little one had just been born....shortly after that lullably sounded overhead, our Granny passed. We were & are all reminded that the circle of life continues; one life leaves the world as another comes into the world. We appreciate your continued thoughts & prayers!

Jen P.

January 11th....YUCK!

I just don't think that January 11th or maybe just "January" overall is going to in the grand scheme of things be good for me. Exactly one year ago today Thomas & I were in the car on the way to meet the little baby girl that had just been born the night before who we thought was going to be our daughter. Around 6:30PM one year ago today we laid eyes on "Ashton" for the first time. So perfect in every way....a year ago tomorrow we arrived at the hospital for what we thought would be making the final preparations to bring her home. That very day we left the doors of that same hospital with empty arms & pulled out of the parking lot with an empty car seat. Today, as with many days leading up to today, I can't help but wonder how she is; hoping & praying that life is treating her well & that she is thriving, happy & healthy! I can not help but think how different my life would be today. For whatever reason that did not work out. I can not ask "why?" as it solves nothing & changes nothing.

My Granny is not doing well. Yesterday my family took her from the hospital to a nursing home as she had been in the hospital since Christmas Day & was not getting better. Renewed health did not seem to be a reality for her in the near future, likely never again. A nursing home was the only option for her as there would be no way that she could go back to her home in her current condition. Today, my Mom called me as they were rushing her back to the ER. Her lungs are filling up with fluid. She apparently has a very bad pneumonia. They don't know if she will make it through this. Thomas & I will leave early in the morning & travel about 2 1/2 hours to go & see her.

My Aunt is in the hospital as well from complications from a back surgery. She is not well today at all. She has lost 23 pounds in the last month & just feels terrible. She is young & has children. She is use to being on the go & is feeling just awful.

Thomas & I are fine. Just praying for renewed health & strength for our family members who are not well. For my Granny; at 88 it may he her time. We can accept that. We just pray that she wont' suffer.

Heading into the New Year we are considering beginning to research a concurrent adoption. We are somewhat interested in Korea. Up to now it hasn't felt right, but recently we have felt a pull to check into this. We haven't even begun & know that it will be a process. We are waiting for our daughter from China irregardless of how long it takes. As long as we are logged in & the program is functioning we will wait. I am 35 & Thomas is 37, so I don't think there is any chance of us aging out. We are anxious as we know so many are for the Olympics to come & go. We want that to be over & done without complications from the media causing waves in regards to IA. Also, to be done & over so that we can see what may be to come afterwards in regards to this wait & the speed in which the CCAA may begin to work at.

We had not planned on taking any more vacations until we traveled to China, but with that time seeming to get farther & farther away we are considering taking a trip mid-year. We are beginning to do some research as to where we might go. We love to travel.

I am determined to begin scrap booking this year. I am researching how to do it. Like, do I want to use something like "Shutterfly" or should I just get a kit or what. I have a drawer full of photos that is just a mess! I am very organized in general, but for some reason that part of my life; our photos are not very together. I love to take pictures, I am just not very good about getting them in an album or getting them labeled & such once we have them uploaded. I vow to get that straightened out this year! I want to have it all done & organized before our Mia comes home!

We are looking at computers as well. We have a great desktop Dell. It will someday be Miss Mia's. We want a lap top, a new digital camera & camcorder that we can take to China. We have been planning on waiting on that purchase when we are a little closer to traveling as they come out with something new & improved so often. We don't want our new equipment to be outdated by the time we travel. Thomas says that we are leaning towards a Mac.

We are also researching luggage. We want the zero turn radius wheels & such. We figured if we start looking now that we might get a better deal than waiting until the last minute.

Also, we are researching vaccinations. Any help here would be appreciated. How in the heck do we know when to get those when we have no idea when we will travel? We are going to research the ones that we need & then find out when we should schedule them.

Our agency has some education that we have to complete prior to traveling as well, so we figure sooner than later we might as well get started on that too.

With all of the chatter that the CCAA might start referring out of line, I guess that one never knows. We feel very fortunate that we meet both sets of requirements; the new guidelines I mean; so if they would start "hand picking" out Dossiers according to families that meet the new regs we want to be somewhat prepared.

With tax time fast approaching we are researching what kind of credits that we can take for our failed adoption in 2007. Hopefully we can get some of the money that was lost during that fiasco!

Tomorrow will be two months "low carbing" for me. I have been back on the wagon faithfully since November 12th. Not even one "ooopsie"! I have been diligent. I have lost 28-30 pounds depending on the day. So, I am back where I started when I lost the original 75 over a year ago. Now, if I can just keep going things should continue to go well.

Jen